A desperate housewife sat watching a television show about real housewives. She laughed so loud that she aroused another desperate housewife who lived next door. She joined the first housewife and together they laughed at the show (after all, two housewives are louder than one). Just then, a third desperate housewife overheard the bliss and decided to join. The three of them laughed hysterically at the fake lives of the other real housewives. This continued until there was so much laughter it became impossible to tell just how many had gathered. Once I grew sick of their laughter I headed to the Newport Beach Peninsula where, they say, a drunken girl shattered her iPhone.